Giving Up


This title is slightly inaccurate. I am not giving up, I have given up..for the moment. Now before everyone tries to give me some speech to pump me up, or boost my confidence, I will state this now; keep it to yourself.

A few weeks back, I was going through a chapter. Typical rewrites and all that jazz. Then I see a message. One of many informing me of how terrible my writing is. As always, these types do not post it as a review, they just feet compelled to inform me. So as I do, I deleted it and went on my way. This, for some odd reason, is what made me change.

I went back to my editing fun, and after reading the same paragraph, I saved my work, shut it down, and decided to not look at it again. I am behind schedule, big time. This needs to get to the editors asap, yet I shut it down, and said fuck it. I still have my notebook to jot down the ideas I have to change up certain things, but otherwise, the novel sits there.

I have no idea where this came from. I do not have writers block, as I stated, notes are still filling up the book. As usual, my mind is overflowing with ideas. I really wish I knew why that one loser set me on this path. It's quite frustrating for someone like me, who truly does not care about haters. I have been surrounded by them my entire life.

Sometime soon, I will begin again. I can't let some idiot control my brain with stupid thoughts. I know Melarandra awaits my return.

For now, I will observe the magic of the world around me, and absorb as much as I can. That's all I can ask of myself.


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